I’m Big. Now What?

Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you, knowing that every step forward is a step toward achieving something bigger and better than your current situation.~Brian Tracy

We all grow up in spite of our best efforts not to. Baby monkeys materialize, jungle huts are bought on loan, the coconut telegraph bill must be paid every month. Some of the things I wanted to do and be when I was little materialized, and some didn’t. Art and creation factors in to much of my adult life and past careers. Looking back, I can see I chose the path that spoke to me louder than the others. I’m still drawn to the idea of spirituality, of helping people. While I don’t want to be a priest, there may be some other path that will be uncovered as we hack away the mental weeds… My wife wouldn’t let me be a priest anyway.


Doug laying around all day in bed… Now what?

What do I want to do with the rest of my life? This is a difficult question. I avoided asking this of myself for many years, and life just happened. I began to ask myself this question consciously, but there seemed to be a tall brick wall blocking the path to insight. I just couldn’t think about it… There was a serious blockage.

So, Doug and I started with what we didn’t want to do. We didn’t want to be a cog in a machine. We didn’t want to lay around all day in bed, watching TV. We didn’t want to be salesmonkeys. This train of thought progressed to ” We want to be our own bosses” and “I want to be a ninja”. Okay, ninjas are still cool, but I think that vine has fallen off the tree… After warming up with what we didn’t want, we started to admit what we DO want. We came up with:

Work for myself.   Grow spiritually.   Help others.   Be creative.   Be financially secure.   Have meaning. Travel more out west (We’re East coast monkeys).

These are the distilled ideas from our list. We came up with lots of other things. Anyway, we took this list and prioritized it. We pondered what we wanted and assigned a number to it. Number 1 is what we most want and it goes from there. Our modified list is:

  1. Have meaning.
  2. Be financially secure.
  3. Be creative.
  4. Grow spiritually.
  5. Work for myself.
  6. Help others.
  7. Travel out West.

This prioritized list helps us see what is important to us. With this list, we can see where our current life matches our desires, and where it doesn’t.


Do some soul searching. What do you hate? Is there some soul crushing job that you just can imagine doing? Good. Write these life sucking beasts down. Think about why you don’t want these things. This will help narrow down what you truly value.

What do you want from life? What do you want to do, to see? Where do you want to be? Who do you want to be with? Don’t worry if your greatest wish is to recline on a mattress of cupcakes watching possums do the macarena. If that’s what you want, own it! Think about the list for a day or two and write down some more wants. It will be difficult at first, especially if you’ve never really asked yourself this question.  Take as long as you need, but don’t procrastinate.

Once you have the list, think about each item in detail. Don’t be concerned if the items are incompatible. Over the road trucker and eco-warrior CAN be on the same list. Now, arrange your list based on desire. What do you want the most? That’s number 1. It goes like that until all dreams are assigned a number.

Congratulations. You now know have a valuable insight into your wants. Get comfortable with the list. This is the real you. Get to know yourself…

Follow the monkey path! Go to I’m Still Me!


  1. This is so much fun! I love the creativity of your blog! 😀

    1. Thank you very much! I’m really enjoying creating it.

  2. I actually want the same things you do, minus the going out west one. Looking back I still find it hard to believe that I don’t remember any career aspirations as a child. Not until I was a teenager did I choose to be a Greeting Card designer, which had a story book illustrator added on after I had children, but I wasn’t very ambitious about it. I made cards for relatives and friends on birthdays and Christmas, I also make Fraktur style Birth/Baptism Announcements .(Taufscheins)

  3. You are so enlightening it is unreal how spot on you are and it is because you are being real/honest and so open with us all. Brilliant you deserve a medal. You should be listed as self help and should be recognised for helping others to wake up and see the light. I’m in awe of you! Blessing to you and monkey!

    1. Thanks! I feel the best way to help others is to be completely honest… That way others in a similar situation can learn and not feel like they’re the only ones going through their situation.

      Thank you for the compliments. It means a lot to know that I’m helping others…

  4. Either I’ve missed a lot, or you haven’t been around. I was thinking of you just a couple of days ago. I hope all is well!?!!!

    1. I’ve been away for a few days, and I slowed down on posting for a while before that. I was getting burned out with my blogging but now I’m back at it!

      1. Glad you are back…I haven’t been so constant and then realized I had missed a bit….was just checking in 🙂 wishes to you and your Daughter!

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