We all have private ails. The troublemakers are they who need public cures for their private ails.~Eric Hoffer
I try to provide an atmosphere here on my blog that’s welcoming for everyone. While I hold certain beliefs I feel others are entitled to their own.
I’m proud to have readers from all over the world, who have different cultures, spiritual beliefs and other preferences than my own.
If you’re curious, take a look at the people who comment on my posts…
You may be surprised at the diversity. Christians,Muslims, Atheists, Pagans and everything in between… Artists, writers, thinkers and those who just ask why… There are no restrictions and all are welcome.
I share my beliefs in a way that I hope is accessible to most…I’m not a dogmatic person, and what works for me won’t work for everyone.
You won’t hear any preaching or judgement going on around here…
I don’t know everything nor do I claim to. I’m just sharing my thoughts and ideas…I value everyone who is authentic, honest and open minded.
I try to create an oasis where everyone can find common ground, learn, share and grow.
That’s why I was surprised when I started getting comments that were less than the standard I try to promote here… There haven’t been many, but there have been more than a couple recently.
Everyone is welcome to disagree with me, I don’t mind. I’m not trying to convert you to my way of thinking or believing, and I won’t be converted to yours. But lately I’ve had some confrontational comments that come from a place of anger and/or just plain ignorance.
I moderate my comments on this blog… I deleted them and won’t allow them to post. A couple trouble makers can easily change the atmosphere of a blog with their “insightful” comments. I like what we’re all building here, me and the regular commenters.
There are plenty of places to post snarky jabs on the internet… So many, in fact that I feel my blog is noteworthy for the welcoming tone I promote… And I’ll keep it this way, even if it means censoring those who know they’re “right”.
I think I discovered the reason that these posts have started showing up. I have quite a few readers, of which I’m thankful for. I also worked hard to build this blog, and not once have I left a negative comment to stir up controversy to drive traffic here.
The people who left the comments I’m referring to have way fewer followers than I do. I believe they thought that posting negative comments would stir up some drama and maybe drive traffic to their own blogs… Sorry, this isn’t the platform for you to do this.
Here’s some advice though… You’ll gain more followers by being open minded and nice than by being a jerk. For those whose comments I’ve deleted, I won’t be reading your blogs… In fact, I’ve blocked you from my reader so I don’t accidentally “like” something you post. It’s unlikely I would anyway, based upon what I read when checking out who sent the comments… I just want to be sure though.
I don’t want to accidentally support someone who comes from a negative starting point… But send me a message if you decide to change your outlook. There’s always room for those with open minds and hearts at the monkey house…
Doug Does Life 
You rock 🙂
Thanks David 🙂
Reblogged this on Circle of the Dolphins.
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Well said!
Thanks Basil… There’s a fine line between promoting discussion and allowing others to abuse the openness. I guess I found where my particular line is drawn.
This is also 4D mentality that many are finding themselves in. As negative vibrations are leaving us some are, simply by mind-set, hanging onto them and “spitting them out.” “They know not what they do.” This is happening all over the place and is the same reason for all the tragedies we saw last year, people jumping in front of trains, shooting up schools, killing their children. 4D is a stepping stone for 5D where nothing of a lower vibration fits. Many hang onto these lower vibrations, by their mind, as if for life. I have seen these people, in raw fear, anger, desperation, Things will be shifting quickly and all will be guided to 5D where all work and play in harmony. Thanks for the voice.
Hey Julie- I know, and I try to remember this when dealing with others. It’s difficult to do though. Part of me feels I should let all comments through since I’m against censorship in general. But I need to maintain a welcoming atmosphere of openness, even if it comes from a bit of artificial pruning on my part.
Thanks for sharing so much positive energy on my blog!
So very well stated 🙂 and if but the kind voice is only heard by one er 2 , well has served its purpose 4 me, thanks for assisting an promoting positiveness rounc the werld :)…. Q
Thanks Q- You add a lot here with your comments…
Love this! I’m a new blogger and started following you almost immediately, after I began. I look to you and your posts for inspiration and guidance on what makes a blog work. Don’t change a thing! I admire you! The positive spirit on your blog makes me want to keep coming back for more!
Thanks Shawny- I’m glad you’re finding my blog useful. It’s flattering that you choose to follow me for guidance in blogging… I’ll try not to lead you astray, but I still feel like a new blogger sometimes!
I’m not changing anything around here. I feel I needed to send a message without dragging my blog down to do it… I’ll continue to handle trouble makers behind the scenes…
I clicked on your name to take a look at your blog but it directed me to your Gravatar profile. You don’t have a link to your blog there so I was at a dead end. If you want to fix this, use the search function on the right hand side of my blog and look for Gravatar… I wrote a post on how to add your blog and other web pages to your profile.
Thanks for following, and let me know when you have a link so I can check your blog out.
Hi Doug, Thanks for the response to my comment and for letting me know that you couldn’t reach my blog through Gravatar! Geez! So much to learn about this blogging business! If ya have a minute, would you mind letting me know if I set it up correctly this time? (Errrrg, I hope so … not holding my breath though!) Anyway, I appreciate you and your writing … keep it up. You’re making a difference in people’s days!
Looks good! I now see two links at the bottom of the page…Writing in a RainDrop and 2 Pen A Picture.
Yaaay! Thanks again, Doug!
Bet ya didn’t know you’d become a blogging instructor and mentor when you got started!
Nope! I didn’t. It’s good though. I wish I found someone at the beginning who was willing to share advice about all things blogging…
Hear hear. The old adage, “If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all,” needs to be remembered by so many.
Yes it does…
It is acceptable to not let negativity into your home and this blog really has a home like feel. I believe you are right to honor that. Sometimes fear may come knocking – as in the form of negative comments – but you need not let it in! Thank you for looking out for your blog and thereby all of us who love the peace here 🙂
Thank you- I try to make this blog welcoming.I’m glad you appreciate the atmosphere.
I am glad your sticking to your guns. I like coming here because of the positive field I feel. Thanks.
I’m glad you stop by. Nothing is changing around here…
Good for you, Doug. Enjoying your blog. Funny, you are reminding me of my 13 yo son who has this inside joke with his friends about sock monkeys. You guys strike me as having the same ‘joie de vivre’. I should hope he grows up to be someone like you. And yes, you are probably right that they are putting negative comments to get readership. I go back and forth on blogging. I have been doing this awhile but don’t seem to get anywhere. Well, I take that back, the mother’s group I started has been awesome that I have made some great friends and perhaps that is enough. But when I write of my own brand of kooky spirituality, I always feel like I am getting ‘blank stares’. And of the 50 somewhat blog followers I have, I believe 49 of them are ‘how to make money on your blog’ bloggers. And I don’t think I should really count my mother as the 50th – ha ha. Curious how long you have been doing this and how long it was until you felt you were being heard? Perhaps that is not even the point as I do feel it has been important as a ‘self-discovery’ tool and facing my fears of being myself, etc. I was even able to get half a dozen articles published on elephant journal which I found super cool but not much readership and a lot of rejections from them as well and then I found myself trying to ‘write for them’ which was really not what I wanted to say in the first place. So I just tell myself to be true to myself and honest and positive and then let it go. We’re all human in that I look at how many ‘views’ I have, but I would rather be a positive force for one or two people than a negative or neutral force for many. Any thoughts and feedback you have appreciated but mainly wanted to say that I am enjoying your blog. Have a good one, warmly, Karen Moon
Hi Karen- I’ve been accused of being like a thirteen year old boy before! I take it as a compliment…
I suggest writing what you care about and don’t worry about the blank stares. I somehow managed to gain followers writing about my own spirituality, life and observations, sometimes as myself and sometimes with the help of my stuffed monkey… And I draw pictures of him too.
That doesn’t sound like a winning combination for a blog, but it works because I write about everything with honesty.
I think a secret of blogging is be authentic, no matter what you write about. That way, even if it’s about a stuffed monkey, it will strike a cord with readers…
My wife, daughter and other family members read my blog.They were my biggest supporters when I was just starting out. I don’t expect honest criticism from them, but I appreciate that they’re still supportive.
I’ve been blogging just over seven months… Much of the time I’ve devoted many hours a day to it though… I was hurt at work and have been on temporary disability recovering from surgery. I felt like I was being heard after I started reading other blogs and interacting with the writers… Conversations started, they visited my blog and it started to take off.
Bring readers to your blog by being a reader yourself… That’s the best way (in my experience) to gain true readers…
It’s a bit discouraging when a blog is just starting out… The best advice I read, and I don’t know the original author, is- “Don’t compare your beginning to someone’s middle”. We all started with no readers and no idea how to gain them…
I’ve worked hard to build my blog, and still do every day. It’s worth it though. I enjoy meeting others and reading about their ideas… And I love helping others and getting my thoughts out to the world.
Thanks for writing!
Your blog was the first one I followed! Someone made a horrible negative comment on my Book Reading Blog and I retaliated with a defensive post of my own! I was embarrass after I did it, and deleted the post shortly after! I guess when someone sees someone different from themselves they feel fear and then they feel a need to say mean things in anger. Anger IS fear expressed.
Many people are still stuck in a negative mindset… See Julie’s comment above- she explains it in a clear manner.
There was a time in my life where I would’ve retaliated as well. Now, I see how frightened people are when they lash out… Hopefully they’ll wake up and examine their actions… We can hope.
“Every situation in your life is a learning experience created by your soul to teach you how to gain more love and power.”
“Realize that other people are only drawn to play out certain roles with you to help you evolve. Let go of anger or blame you have towards them.”
“You will find greater inner peace when you do not need others to act in a certain way in order to be happy yourself.” (PEOPLE WITH BIG EGOS HAVE A HARD TIME LIVING BY THIS RULE)
Thanks for sharing. Good quotes.
Bravo Doug! Thank you for holding a truly positive space here
Thanks Michelle!
I just recently experienced something like this. It’s crazy to me how mean some people can be. It’s great being open minded and kind to other bloggers, but the trouble makers need to know their comments won’t be approved.
I feel this way as well.That’s why I won’t allow them to pollute my blog with their issues…
Same here! It’s only in those cases that I don’t approve someone’s comments.
Well stated! Words and actions to live by, John and Doug..
Thanks Tim!
Thanks for the positive energy Doug. You were probably the first and only blogger to read one of my blogs. I followed you and have read some of your blogs. I am definately a novice and I am always reading other blogs to learn more.
Honestly, I always wonder why we allow our egos to convince us that our right should be someone else’s. I have to say that it is one of the areas in which I feel needs to be brought to light for so many of us. The way I see it will not always be agreed upon by others so I have made a strong effort, even when I strongly disagree with something to attempt to see the other persons point and respect it and I admit that for me this is a challenge because people can be so disrepectful and argumentive.
I commend you for keeping your blog free of negativity but be mindful that sometimes while the other person is giving off all the wrong vibes, there is always a possible teachable moment for them or even someone else.
Keep doing what you do. I am learning so much from you!
Hey D- I’ll be glad to help you out if I can. I started out a novice too and learned almost everything on my own… It was tough! I’ll answer whatever questions you may have, and that I’m able to…
The more people writing about their thoughts and ideas the better, in my opinion.
People often live in a state of fear. Anything different threatens to upset whatever balance they think they have in life, so they lash out. That’s what it seems like to me… Once we recognize our reactions to others are how we feel about ourselves, it’s easier to be more open minded. Sadly, too many people are stuck in the “nothing’s my fault” mode.
I’m glad you’re following along. Keep at…It takes time to build a following. For now,write for yourself… People will start following in time, if you’re authentic and open…
Hello Doug,
Well written. I used to be a member of a forum on which one person reminded me of a Goofy cartoon I saw years ago. When he walked out to his car, he was normal. As soon as he started his car – or more particularly, had his foot on power – his tongue drooled, his hair went up in electric shocks and his eyes turned into spinning all-day suckers. I will never forget the image. Similarly the person I knew (who was almost always polite to you in person) – as soon as he got his fingers on the keyboard in front of a screen to the world, ‘Attack’ became his middle name and relentless bile the content of his posts.
Thanks for your like of my post ‘On Light, Vision and Knowledge.’ Best wishes, Phil Stanfield
Just reading this comment thread gives me the warm fuzzies. I learned in counseling school that in an abusive situation, everyone ultimately is being abused, either directly or indirectly, including the abuser, who is using him or herself abusively to carry out twisted ego agendas. Reading this thread reminds me of the converse: that when people are respecting each other, that, too, impacts everyone, the participants and the witnesses.
There is an art to keeping the boundaries that are right for you. And just like you’ve been telling folks about how to write their blogs by being true to themselves, setting and keeping a boundary that is right for you attracts people who are right for you.
Thanks everyone for the good vibes.
Phyllis
Hey Phyllis- Sorry for the long response time… I’ve had the flu and am just now catching up on comments.
I suggest people be true to themselves when writing because that’s what I like to read… I can usually tell when someone isn’t being genuine and it makes me not want to read their posts…
Thanks for your input!
Doug, Sorry for your flu! Glad you’re on the mend. Hope your Spring is warmer than mine! (23 F)
Much warmer! It was about 76 F today…
Ouch. 🙂
Sounds like you and I actually think a lot alike. Thank you for sharing.
Thanks fro reading!
And I’m abrasive in my plea for people to stop judging each other and to let each other just “Be.” But it takes all kinds, I guess.
Live and let Live!