Don’t Create Misery For Yourself.


Doug and I are having a busy weekend in real life… I’m preparing the narrative for my court appearance in eight days, when I’ll be attempting to gain custody of my teen daughter. It’s easy to become mired in distasteful situations and lose sight of the broader arc of our lives.

I needed to step back today, and remind myself that I feel only how I allow myself to… If I allow fear, anger and frustration to enter my thoughts, that is what I’ll attract.

Thanks, Eckhart Tolle, for the much needed reminder… Now, back to the monkey business at hand…


  1. billiamholt · · Reply

    A great reminder for us all. Thanks!

    1. You’re welcome. Thanks for stopping by.

  2. moodymandi · · Reply

    Very well put. I am struggling to keep out negative energy & vibes right now on a personal level, but I am trying harder than I have before, putting more positive stuff in. God bless you!

    1. I’m happy the post resonated with you. I too, am dealing with a tough next couple of weeks and need all the reminders I can find to stay positive. Whatever negativity you’re facing, remember that you’ll still be here after it passes… Everything passes ( I keep telling myself this. It works).

  3. I wish you the best of luck John, my thoughts are with you.

    1. Thanks Penny- I’m sure I’ll post all about it, whatever the outcome 🙂

  4. Thank you for your transparency John. I hope it helps you as much as it helps me.

    I am free to be a miserable as I want to be.

    1. My intention is to be the real me, both online and off. By sharing my issues, I hope to help others with theirs. I’m glad you appreciate this Glenn…

  5. Lorraine · · Reply

    Good luck in court!

    1. Thank you Lorraine!

  6. jjwalters · · Reply

    My daughter was 18 before I got her back . . . we lived together in a small cottage I rented on a lake and we fell in love with each other . . . today, in her 40’s we are still in love and best friends too boot. . . The one person in this whole world whom with I understand what the word love actually means . . . . I wish you the same.

    1. Hey Jim- My daughter and I have been close since she was a newborn… We still are. I hate the avoidable disruption in her life she’s being forced to endure. I’m not the one attempting to move, which weighs heavily in my favor… Thanks for the well wishes.

  7. Custody cases rarely produce positive emotions. I’ve been there, it wasn’t pretty although I held it together until the court case ended, my emotions then flooded over me and I drown without a life jacket in sight. Just the release of having it over, produced the need for to comment, to complain, to cry out loud about a system that is ridged, yet broken in most cases. Without that emotional release I dare say the build up could have been explosive. To not allow myself the physical and emotional need of expression would have been damaging to not only my own inner self but to those who came in contact with me. To quietly remain unmoved by the situation that I was in, would have meant more than just my future sanity, it would have meant that I didn’t care much about what was happening. And I did care. I cared enough to knowingly put myself threw the hell that it became, the hell that I’ll remember always and the heaven that it produced when it was over. To not rise to anger easily is a virtue I’m sure but to never feel enough about life to react is a curse.
    Much luck to you.

    1. Sadly, I fought this same fight five years ago and kept my daughter in state. Now it’s round two. Whatever the outcome,I’ll know I tried my hardest to do I feel is best for my daughter.

      Rage, anxiety and depression aren’t going to change the outcome, so I’m choosing to head into this prepared and balanced. I can be upset for the next week and ruin my life, or I can accept the situation and continue living in gratitude. The outcome will be the same either way… I’ll still be alive after it’s all over, even though it doesn’t feel like it sometimes.

      Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts and experiences, and for the wish of luck. I appreciate it…

  8. Good luck !!! And I love the reminder… I could use it as a phrase when other ugly thoughts try to come in…

    1. Thank you… I find it a useful reminder when life tries to pull me down… The last few days I also keep telling myself “You’ll still be alive when this is all over”… Sometimes I lose sight of the basics and let worry take over.

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